Today we present Wednesday’s Child, Carl. Carl is a rambunctious 11-year-old boy who was likely saved by zombification. Prior to his being infected, Carl had been in and out of juvenile detention facilities after a lengthy history of not only getting in trouble with the law, but consistently getting caught. Since the age of 6 he has been arrested over 48 times for assault, grand theft auto, arson, trespassing, witness intimidation, and the sale of controlled substances. Essentially orphaned by his drug addicted parents, Carl was forced to fend for himself. The state tried to help with social workers and foster home placement, but Carl ran away from every foster home, usually driving his foster parent’s car off into the sunset, never to be seen again.
Carl was infected after being sentenced to six months in a juvenile facility for running a stolen credit card ring out of an abandoned warehouse. In the van on the way to the facility, another boy, who had been on growth hormone, turned and attacked the others riding in the bus with him. Carl managed to fight off his attacker and disappear after the driver stopped the bus to try to stop the carnage. Once free, Carl retreated to a park he frequented. Before night fell, he had turned, attacked a passing jogger, and was back under arrest.
It didn’t take long for his jailers to realize that Carl was more than they could deal with. Luckily, one of the guards was familiar with our organization and was friends with a local judge. The jailer called the judge, the judge called our organization, and we agreed to an immediate transfer. Four hours later, Carl was here in his new home.
As we’ve found with other children, the activities Carl loved before the infection are retained post zombification. The only difference is his coordination and verbal skills aren’t what they once were. Carl still loves to steal cars, but he no longer has the fine motor skills it takes to hotwire an ignition. Instead, he now hops into unlocked cars and waits for someone to take him for a ride. He still gets excited when he sees staff members or visitors with cash, but he can no longer unobtrusively pick pockets as he once did. Instead our staff members hide wallets and pocketbooks stuffed with Monopoly money in locations Carl will find them. When we have a bonfire, he sits in front of it, eyes wide open and mouth fashioned in a smile, yet he doesn’t try to pick up any of the burning branches and start a secondary fire. Instead we have taught him to toast marshmallows. Carl is no longer the troublesome juvenile delinquent that he was before he was infected.
Children like Carl show us that for some, the Great Infection saved their life. We certainly believe it saved Carl’s. Instead of spending a short life behind bars, Carl now lives in a place where he is loved and cared for. As one of our staff members said recently, the smile that lights up Carl’s face when he finds a wallet bulging with fake money stuffed behind a sofa makes everything we do here worthwhile.
Remember, we feed the zombie children so you don’t have to.
Your friends at the Zombie Emergency Relief Organization