Here at the Zombie Emergency Relief Organization we believe in the power of children, even when they’re zombie children. Our Wednesday’s Child spotlight attempts to erase the stigma of zombification and introduce our readers to the amazing children we share our lives with.
Popular stereotypes paint zombies as unfeeling, uncaring, dour-appearing creatures of gloom. They shuffle along like aging inmates going to their last meal while moaning as if they’re getting a root canal without anesthetic. They flail their arms and drag their legs and generally act in a manner that causes wise people to flee. For those of you who think of zombies in these terms, you don’t know Jack.
Jack, an exuberant nine-year old, takes his smile everywhere he goes. His favorite activities include dance-dance revolution and karaoke. Before his zombification he took voice and dance lessons with the dream of eventually starring on Broadway. With the help of his older sister, he developed an act that he performed at small fairs, senior centers, and strip malls throughout his home state. Nicknamed “Little Mr. Entertainment,” he was auditioning for a reality tv show when he was stricken by the Infection. As soon as the producers heard of his affliction, they broke off contact with the family and left Jack heartbroken and mourning the opportunities the zombie virus had stolen from him.
Shortly afterwards, his parents were killed by vigilantes intent on destroying all victims of the Great Infection. Luckily, his parents had entrusted Jack to out-of-state relatives who knew of our organization. We welcomed Jack with open arms and he thanked us by putting on our first all zombie revue. Since then, he has appeared in most of our print ads and television commercials as well as continuing to dance and sing for our community get togethers. Jack’s working portfolio continues to grow and, who knows, someday he might get a chance at Broadway after all.